Shower Brainstorms

I like to stand in the shower and just think. It is the one place in my little house that I can go and push everything else aside and even come before God to converse. That's mostly what my thinking in the shower anyway. But, last night while I was standing in the shower I became extremely confused. I had such terrible mixed feelings about life and my next step.

This is a scary transition for a lot of people, and I'm definitly included in that crowd. I'm 22 and have no real carreer path chosen, I don't know whether to go for my masters yet, and there's just a lot of things I don't know about. I've been praying everyday that the Lord will show me where to go next. *Sigh* I just had a flash back of Sunday School when I was little. I think the lesson was about letting God lead us and putting our trust in Him. In groups of two, one partner had to tie a bandana around their eyes and the other lead them around the room. It was hard being the person not able to see. It is hard being the person that cannot see.

Peace Corps. Where did I leave you Peace Corps!? This plan has fallen by the wayside and every once in a while I'll try to reach a hand out to pull it back on board. Last night I was thinking about it again, in the shower (if only I were there now). Three months ago I would not have cared to leave the country for two years, but now... what has happened?

I can't help but feel like I'm being foolish, but at the same time there's reason to my insane logic. This thing that is holding me back can potentially heal so many wounds and make me grow into the man that I desire to be. And I look at the opportunities that I have. They stand plentiful. They are blessings that God has placed before me, but I can only choose one path. These oppurtunities, at times, seem too beautiful to throw to the side, but where I am and where my heart is telling me to go feels the best.

The Lord says that the world may see His people doing foolish things, but in His eyes and His vision they are wise and perfect. Is this one of those things? Am I being wise? Oh dear, what do I do? I need to take a five day shower to figure this mess out.